Horrible Friday, F’ Pity

I didn’t want to go to the gym at all today.

I rolled out of bed and forced myself to go though. I felt miserable as it’s been a pretty emotional week for me. Good thing is I kept showing up, and I will continue to show up. I was talking to myself at one point doing push ups, and I told myself I’d had enough. Enough with this pity crap that always gets me going in a downward spiral. I’ve done a lot of self pity in my life, because I felt that was the best way for me to get attention.

Friday workout 9-25-2015 Pushup

“Oh,┬áif they feel bad for me, they won’t make fun of me anymore.” Yeah, look where that has gotten me, back to the same damn place time and time again. I’m sick and tired of being this way, I’m tired of being lonely! I’m tired of not being able to ride on a ambulance! I’m tired of not going out with friends because I’m embarrassed of how I look or where I’ll sit. I’m tired of living in a fucking comfort zone! Most of all I’m tired of the bull shit that I put up with so people will be my “friend” I’m so over this self pity bullshit. I’m proud of myself for pushing through this crappy ass week. Most importantly I’m proud that in that moment I chose to SHOW UP.

 

Friday workout 9-25-2015 pulling

 

I’m so thankful to have found Tyler in this process of trying to become the best version of myself. I give him a lot of crap when we workout. I don’t know how many times I’ve told him I’ve hated him, even though I apologize right after I say it. Haha He just keeps on pushing me right up to that edge and that’s exactly what I need. Thanks buddy!! Oh and thanks for being the director of my videos too!!

Here’s to living life, and pushing through the darkness, finding the light.

-RAW-



4 thoughts on “Horrible Friday, F’ Pity

  • September 26, 2015 at 1:45 PM
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    My back used to scream bloody murder at every workout. After 1 month, working out 5 days a week, I have no back issues anymore. My knee and shoulder are much better as well. I wish I had a gym here that was as awesome as yours, but mine is getting the job done. Stick to it!

    Reply
    • September 27, 2015 at 3:56 PM
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      That’s awesome Vicky!! Glad you are doing well with working out!! Thanks for the support <3

      Reply
  • September 25, 2015 at 5:35 PM
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    Thats the best brother, potent realizations and huge up in showing up, tis what its all about!!! Kudos times 10000

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    • September 25, 2015 at 6:01 PM
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      Thanks Chris!! For everything man. I hope you still know I wouldn’t be to this point without you and my other non fruit homie CK!!

      Reply

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