I’ll start tomorrow

Tomorrow is Monday. It’s the day when a lot of people say “I’ll start”

What are you still waiting for? When will the light bulb go off? Why me?
I asked my questions so many times over and over. Last year when I started once again on this journey I wasn’t in the right mindset. I just wanted to change, but the real hunger wasn’t there. I grew a lot when I was heavily involved in yoga. I started the process of learning what I really wanted. I also let myself get caught up in all the hype. When this facebook page went from 700 likes to over 15,000 in less than a week I was on cloud 9. Not because I wanted to be famous, but because of the amazing support I was receiving and others we getting too. To this day this still rings true.

But something has changed over the last few months …

I’m becoming a different person, I’m changing. I’m starting to value myself in a way I never have before. I love myself!! I don’t need outside forces to make me feel happy. I don’t need another person to validate me or my being. Don’t get me wrong it’s nice to have so much support and love, and I try to do my best to let every single one of you know that. I do value every one of you.

I’m starting to live the life I want to live. If I was capable of jumping on that bike today and starting my ride across america I would. I still have a lot of work to do, but I’m not focused on that only. I’m not concerning myself with how long it’s going to take, I’m just focused on the current end goal of losing 400 pounds.

If I get there cool, if not, that’s cool too. I know in my heart who I am now. I know the kind of person I want to become. That’s worth more than money, and it’s bigger than my weight.

All the tears, all the pain, all the heartache, the late nights, the early mornings, the times I said No or Yes, all the blood, the agony, all the times I numbed myself, all the hugs, all the times I shared to much ….. Everything

It was all worth it, because here I am, right here and right now standing before you as the best version of myself.

Sending my love and strength to you all.

-RAW-

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