Yesterday, I decided for the first time ever, to practice yoga on my own. This wasn’t about poses, sweating, or a workout. This was about me pushing through what I’ve gone through over the last few weeks.
I wish that all this pain and hurt inside me would just disappear. I wish that happiness would bless me forever. I know these are wishes, and wishes don’t always come true.
I also acknowledge that I’m working on years and years of self hate, loneliness, self pity, and any other negative words I can’t think of. It won’t be a over night process to overcome. I’m working on it, and that’s what matters.
I really feel like this is the crossroads. Right here, right now. I can change the patten and overcome, or I can lay stagnant in the pattern and die. For today I went with change.
I feel the biggest thing I’m trying to do is learn who I am. Who is Richard? What is he about? I’ve clung to certain stories about myself not caring much for the positive things. Fact is I think I’m a good person. That’s kinda strange for me to write on here, but it’s what I feel. When I love, I love hard, when I hate I still love.
Today I decided that it was a good day to show up.
Love To You All,
“I think that the power is the
principle. The principle of moving forward, as though you have the confidence to move forward, eventually gives you confidence when you look back and see what you’ve done.” -Robert Downey, Jr